Dharma - "That which holds together"

Dharma

“That which holds together”

I open my eyes

and the whole world appears.

I can take any road I choose

Drawn into my life experiences

Like puzzle pieces.

It seems like an arbitrary freedom.

Yet as the pieces I draw to me

Dovetail into the piece that is me

I become a fit for those pieces too.

Until I pull back and

the edges between pieces disappear,

then the whole picture is complete.

The last days of Coffee

I awoke and began my stomach-churning-cleansing yoga regime, cleansed my nostrils and began a few slow yoga poses to stimulate my digestion.  I’d been waiting to drink the beloved coffee until after I’d eaten, as coffee is an appetite suppressant and shuts down the digestive system.  I loved coffee.  I’d been drinking it since my first experience with espresso in Germany in 1985.  This particular morning, I poured the oily black substance into the cup and began to raise it to my lips.  Stomach churned on its own.  I tasted it and felt the gag reflex.  I’d known coffee was not so good for me for a long time, but rationalized my way out of not drinking it.  This day, looking at the coffee, I was done.  Not a suppression, not a “I really should cut down”.  It was a visceral response, as strong as repulsion is.  How could this have happened.  Coffee, how could you.

Now I can look back on my time with coffee.  “Let us go for coffee” I would say to someone I found attractive.  No more.  I’ve haunted Coffee Shops for most of my life.  What now.  It’s a wonderful cloud in the sky that has evaporated for me.  It does help to remember I’ve spent approximately $150,000 on coffee since I was 20 years old.  It helps to remember I’ll try to use the money I would have spent on coffee to experience something slightly more interesting.  Like seeing the world.  But I will miss the romance of the drink.  The artistry of a well made cappuccino.  Don’t say decaf.  I’d rathe walk than drive a horrible car.  No, I shall make my way forward alone.  Yes, alone.